Brave New World Vs. 1984

A Commentary On What We All Face And Can’t Admit by Mitch Santell

brave new world barcode 2020

To all my dear readers, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for following this blog.

people tv mind control george orwell

There are some things that you need to know, especially if you are truly awake and have turned off your Tell-Lie-Vision.

Question:    When did you turn off your TV?

Answer:       May 1995.

Question:     Why did you turn it off?

Answer:       The Powers That Be calls it: Tell-Live-Vision.

BLOCKBUSTER: AFTER GETTING BUSTED FOR A CORONA PSYOP IN NEW YORK HOSPITALS, THEY STARTED “LOADING BODIES INTO SEMI TRUCKS” ON THE STREET TO “PROVE” IT IS REAL

Right when even Project Veritas proved they were lying about being swamped with cases, they had to pull this crap to convince the public that the astute who documented the fallacies were somehow wrong. And they did it in the most stupid way possible that only a mouth breather would fall for, you do not load semi-trucks on the street, you use the ******G LOADING DOCK.

All hospitals have a truck loading dock. There are too many supplies going in and out to handle any other way. New York has over 50 semi trucks dedicated to moving dead bodies because in New york, an average of 421 people die per day. These trucks do not ever get loaded on the street. Ground zero coronavirus AS THEY STATE IT in New York is happening at Elmhurst hospital. At Elmhurst today, supposedly they lined up 20 or 30 bodies on the street in front of the hospital and loaded them onto trucks. QUESTION: WHY DID THEY DO ALL THAT DIRTY WORK, RIGHT OUT IN THE PUBLIC, WHEN THE ELMHURST LOADING DOCK IS RIGHT HERE?

Read more here: http://82.221.129.208/.vp1.html

LA 1940's

Here is one additional insight:

Don't Waste Time Hollywood Land Construction 1920's

Blue Liberal Progressive States Like Calif & New York are Brave New World.

Red Conservative States Like Wyoming & South Dakota are 1984.

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New Zealand Warned You In 2011

A Commentary About Passion and Compassion by Mitch Santell

New Zealand Beautiful We Warned You 2011

You just woke up this morning, and the world you now know is over. How do you feel? Do you feel inspired? Do you feel like you need to go buy some food for your family?

Well, well, well, those days are over folks.

You had a chance to stand up, and you didn’t.

The powers that be are taking everything you have ever worked for throughout your life.

Me? I didn’t want my children or my grandchildren to go through the challenging times that we are in right now.

Back in 2011, I was still living in New Zealand, and I was the “Somewhat Fabolous Producer of The Vinny Eastwood Show.”

Americans are now under medical martial law.

We were talking about this in 2011.

If you are not awake now, then just go back to Netflix and enjoy their latest shows.

What’s next? Hmmm, martial law?

Question: What is the most significant speculation now? 

Answer: Now that they took away your Sports, Your Concerts, and Social gatherings, speculation is the internet is next.

(Comment: Hope you have some books to read, a DVD player. I’ve been prepared for this since 2010, how about you) and mentally prepared since September 11, 2001).

Hey, have yourself a beautiful Saturday as you wait in line at the store to buy your corporate chemical injected food. Please note that I do appreciate the fact that Costco is working so hard to take care of their customers. The truth? They are watching their sales increase by 12% right not in March 2020. Order Out of Chaos!

Here is my parting shot of the day:

Obama Vs Trump

CoronaVirus Mind Control Nightmare

A Commentary On The Bizarre Shift of America by Mitch Santell

New America 2020

The global rumors surrounding America right now are out of control. It is hard to know from one day to the next what is really going on. The Powers That Be” tell you, we are in the middle of a Global Pandemic.

Looking out over the landscape of America in 2020, you almost can’t recognize our country unless you do what I do. 

What is that?

Answer: Go take a walk with a good friend or family member.

There is always something that we independent thinkers say: 

“There is your side of the story,

there is my side of the story, and then there are the facts.”


Ralphs1

My Mrs. of 33 1/2 years (no I am not a Free Mason, LOL) went to Ralphs’s Supermarket locally here. There was a line of several hundred people. To avoid any kind of hoarding, the store only lets in 50 at a time.

When my wife and daughter returned from the store, I asked, “How was it?” Her response was “fine.” The truth is that I know it was not okay. As a third-generation native California, what my wife described I have never seen in my lifetime 

My take? We are entering an era where “The Powers That Be” want total control over the American population, and I feel like they are using the Corona Virus as another 9/11 type of event to scare the living crap out of people.

It is a known fact that you can’t take an antibiotic or a vaccine for a virus. You just have to take aspirin or Tylenol, get plenty of rest, eat chicken soup, and chill-lax.

Look at this short clip from Contagion in 2011 and listen carefully to the dialogue.



My take is that this is a test for something far greater down the road.

Did you know that 2018 was one of our worst flu records on record? 

Did you know that the mainstream media reported on the flu in 2018? Did you know there was none of the hysteria that is going on now?

Here is the story on the Flu in 2018:

shorturl.at/oFLVZ

Okay, now take a deep cleansing breath, okay?

Here is a more extended clip.

Please look and listen very carefully.


Now, look at Mr. Evil, no, you can’t make this stuff up. Here is Bill Gates in Davos, Switzerland telling us in real-time back in 2017 what’s coming.

Of course, he tells you it’s a hypothetical and this sounds and smells fishy to me.

There was a test that was a simulation called 201, and you can look it up for yourself where a “global pandemic” was practiced in case we ever had the real thing.

What I want you to see is how Bill Gates back in 2015 openly discusses what is happening right now.

So be ready, folks. It is about to get even stranger!


 

 

CoronaVirus Is A Front For The Global Reset of the Dollar

A Commentary On Our Global Reset & US Dollar Collapse by Mitch Santell

illuminati-belief-6
What Will Do When Fema Comes Your Door To Take You To A Detention Center?

The craziness that you witnessed today in the financial markets has been planned for over 100 years.

The Powers That Be, the Global Elite, the 1% love what is happening!

They are laughing their asses off.

Question: Why are they doing this?

Answer: It is called the Federal Reserve, and it is neither “Federal” Nor Is it A Reserve!

Woodrow Wilson, 1919

THE FEDERAL RESERVE SYSTEM

Anyone who is in Banking & Payments and is a bit of a history buff, would know essential flow of how our money is made. I use the word flaw deliberately, because that is what it is.

Money today is created out of thin air. It has been for decades now. There is no tangible commodity at the back end to cover it. It is all created at will and then pushed into the money supply.

There is indirect taxation because of this, i.e. inflation that is a monster by itself to deal with.

Now, whether you are a history buff or not, conspiracy theorist or not, the following videos and books are illuminating at the very least, and for those who dig deeper into it, eye-opening would be the term that comes to mind.

New currency federal reserve

There is a great documentary (on which I will post separately), but I could not help but transcribe the following passage from its opening:

There is no system that is taken for granted or misunderstood as the monetary system. Taking on nearly religious proportions, the established monetary institution exists as one of the most unquestioned forms of faith there is.

How money is created, the policies by which it is governed, how it truly affects society, are unregistered interests of the great majority of the population.

And whether we are aware of it not, the lifeblood of all of our established institutions and thus society itself is … money.

Therefore understanding this institution of monetary policy, is critical to understanding why our lives are the way they are.

Unfortunately, Economics is often viewed with confusion and boredom.

Endless streams of financial jargon, coupled with intimidating mathematics quickly deters people from attempts at understanding.

However, the fact is, the complexity is so seated with the financial system, is a mere mask. Designed to conceal one of the most socially paralyzing structures, humanity has ever endured.

I don’t want to come across as a person to influence you, however, I would want that you read, watch and listen and draw your own conclusion. This is precisely one of the reasons why Bitcoins are touted as the monetary system that would serve as our savior.

When I discuss what is written above (and below) with friends and colleagues, there is almost a comical irony in it, considering I am a Banking & Payments consultant. Am I cognizant of the money flaw? Yes, I am. Can I do anything about it? Probably not a whole lot, other than educate others. What am I trying to achieve here? Nothing! Just simply sharing a book and its story.

Read the rest here: https://faisalkhan.com/2015/07/27/the-creature-from-jekyll-island/

Edward Griffith
G. Edward Griffin

The starting book and lecture that universally everyone should read and watch, is by the American Author G. Edward Griffin.


Here is another perspective of what is going on from one of my favorite people on this planet, Candace Owens (Los Angeles, California):

Screen Shot 2020-03-18 at 5.10.54 PM

 

Coronavirus Observations

A Commentary On The Current Health Crisis by Mitch Santell

People wear masks as they ride vehicles during evening rush hour, as the country is hit by an outbreak of the novel coronavirus, in Beijing

The thing I remember most about my Mom turning 65 years of age was telling me how she was living as a “social recluse.”

My immediate response was, “Why, Mom?”

Her answer was simple: I don’t want to go out in public to a political convention or a concert because I don’t want to come down with a bad flu bug, bronchitis, or pneumonia.

There are several bizarre discoveries that I have made about the Coronavirus that simply makes me scratch my hair.

sciencesource_ss2413465

The observation was made by my wife Laurie of 33 1/2 years: “Mitch, do you ever notice how every time there is a national election, there is some sort of pandemic that is going to take us all out?

What did I do next?

Answer: Yes, I simply went online looking for the timing of the current Coronavirus and if there was a “money play” behind it.

Here is what I found, and no, you can’t make this stuff up!

First, there is an actual patent for the Coronavirus.

 

Coronavirus-patent
Coronavirus Vaccine Application from 2015.

 

You might want to look at the entire patent application.

Here it is

(Click On The Text Under This & It will Open Up a New Window:

AA US Patent CoronaVirus Full Application 2

 

C.I.A.-PATENT-US7220852B1-–-CORONAVIRUS-AKA-SARS
Before 2015, another Patent was applied for back in 2007.

 

Corona beer 3
No, Corona Beer Does Not Contain This Virus

Then I hit the motherload so check this out:

GARBAGE IN, GARBAGE OUT

This is actually a very important message

Early on with this whole Coronavirus deal, I stated that it was impossible to know what was really going on in China because everyone was lying and the data was garbage. Here we had only four digit deaths when all 50+ crematoriums in the Wuhan metro were going full tilt burning bodies with a capacity of well over 5,000 a day, PLUS 40 portable crematoriums added on top of that, for only 3,000 or so deaths now. Obviously I called bunk, and at that time, I stated that March 2 was the date we’d get data that was not garbage to know if they were hiding virus deaths or committing a communist style genocide. On March 2 we got our answer: NO GENOCIDE. Yes, they returned to work but it was all so screwed up that there’s no way the government did anything malignant, and Wuhan is dead. And I found ways to prove it that cannot be refuted, and actually provided quite fine detail. Who knows how many people in Wuhan are actually dead, but one thing is certain, they are not working.

chinaprediction

This is why the above message is very important:

We now know there was no genocide and it appears that subversive elements in the U.S. government are intentionally misinforming Trump and doing all they can to deny there’s a problem until it all absolutely explodes. It is clearly what they want.

If you have to work, don’t worry about being a “freak”, at least wear half way stylish safety glasses, an N95, and keep everything as sanitary as possible. Don’t touch your face, not even for an itch, itch your face with a pencil where no one touched the pencil or anything else, if possible. And for gods sake if you are already sick, consider the consequences of being a super spreader, don’t do it, make damn good and sure you at least have a cough cover on to protect others. I know the people who read this site are decent enough to understand this, it is the leftists who won’t give a damn about others.

There’s nothing personal about this virus. It does not make you bad or underclass if you have it, but it would be VERY bad to have it and not protect anyone else from it if you can. Today’s traffic stats in China were horrible, they’re going DOWN and it is overwhelmingly probably going to happen in the good ol’ U.S. of A.

STUNNING social media post: Every election year has an outbreak. Coincidence?

SARS ———-2004
AVIAN———-2008
SWINE———2010
MERS———-2012
EBOLA———2014
ZIKA————2016
EBOLA———2018
CORONA——2020

Trolls are saying some of the dates don’t line up, but if you actually check to see when they are declared emergencies, they do. There’s no doubt there is serious manipulation of when outbreaks are declared for whatever reason. Probably to distract the public from learning about political candidates. Additionally, this year was the whopper, likely because of Trump. The globalists could care less who they kill, and it is not coincidental that Iran’s government got nailed FIRST right after a failed attempt to start a war with them. China was getting out of hand too.This election year, the timing of events was so perfect they probably did it for real.

FACT: They knew they were going to lose against Trump, and had to come up with a way to disrupt an election so badly that it would be plausible he’d lose. They may even mandate mail in votes to prevent virus spread and invent an excuse that Trump supporters were too stupid to use the postal system. Or perhaps they’ll do online voting, perfectly secured by Hillary’s new election software company.

No matter how you cut it, we are dealing with a man-made virus that hit exactly when needed, with perfect timing. This fall will probably be crazy, right when they need it to be and as a bonus, China and Iran will be whipped into submission.

Hopefully what you just read is still online.

There is a lot more to share so click here:

http://82.221.129.208/.vq4.html

#coronavirus #china #memes #rpm #preppertalk #bronchitis #bacterialvaginosis #aids #dallas #repost #urbansurvival #beready #preppernation #virus #doomsdaypreppers #candidiasis #pandemic #preparedness #virologia #paragrafando #studygram #med #biomedicas #brucellosis #chikungunya #chickenpox #flu #hepb #hepatitise #bhfyp #hepatitis #hendravirus #hantavirus #groupbstrep #grippe #giardia #endmalaria #biomedicinaporamor #ebolawatch #ebolavirus #ebolaresearch #ebolaoutbreak #eboladrc #dengue #demodex #congestionnasal #colds #cholera #biomedicos #novovirus #carnaval #asvcp #cytology #microscopy #veterinarymedicine #vetmed #pathology #veterinaryclinicalpathology #clinicalpathology #clinpath

America’s Super Bowl Distraction

 

Matrix code
It Is All A Big Show

“Life is routine. Monotonous cycles of work, miscellaneous tasks, and sleep are typically broken up by periodic diversions and random chance. For most, tomorrow will look like today, as will the next day, and the one to follow. It’s a consequence of being able to think abstractly and live for a relatively long time. Together, these two things contribute to a long tradition of listlessness and lack of fulfillment that’s defined the common man since the days of classical philosophy.

In the Matrix, Thomas “Neo” Anderson is that common man, haunted by this existential nihilism. Neo’s life has no meaning. He works at a job he isn’t excited about, organizes his free time around it, and is desperately searching for something to justify the existence of the world around him. On good days he’s bored, and he probably prefers it to the alternative.”

Neo dodging a bullet

“From nothing to something, that’s the goal. While we’re shackled to monotony and expectations, Neo is tethered to the Matrix, realizes he’s one pod in a row of a billion identical pods, and, with enough exposure to reality, is free to make choices to define himself. To potentially escape the nihilism that follows us, we too have to break free, but not everyone becomes a fashionable, zen-calm, kung-fu-fighting demigod. When given the chance to embrace freedom, many people make objectively destructive decisions.

Cypher

Aboard the Nebuchadnezzar, there’s one unabashed non-believer, Cypher. He comfortably jokes about religion, questions the wisdom of the faith Morpheus holds so dear, and turns hostile when belief can’t measure up to the evidence of life’s pointlessness. Unlike Neo, Trinity, and Morpheus, Cypher has accepted the pointlessness of existence and rejects the possibility of the supernatural. He hasn’t moved far from the starting position of the Matrix. If Neo was shuffling like a corporate zombie at MetaCortex and dreaming of a more meaningful life at his desk at home, is it any different from Cypher drinking moonshine to numb his distaste for living while floating on a hovercraft through the ruins of the real world?”

To remedy this situation, Cypher, like a lot of people, chooses distraction. In a dinner with Agent Smith, Cypher agrees to betray Morpheus in exchange for the life of a celebrity within the Matrix. It’s a wager made with technology to replace the wager Pascal would’ve suggested.

In his observation of kings, which are largely celebrities in the modern world, Pascal notes that the diversions offered by wealth and celebrity don’t last. Eventually, diversion dies out, and the king returns to reflect on the frivolity of it all, putting him back into a position where he yearns for a life that doesn’t leave him feeling so empty.

If we live in an era where gods have been replaced by evolving technology that radically transforms daily life, can we do anything but balance obsessing over our place in the world and collecting diversions to distract us from that truth? Yes, but it might involve even more reliance on technology.

Read more here: shorturl.at/cgSZ5


#coronavirus #china #memes #rpm #preppertalk #bronchitis #bacterialvaginosis #aids #dallas #repost #urbansurvival #beready #preppernation #virus #doomsdaypreppers #candidiasis #pandemic #preparedness #virologia #paragrafando #studygram #med #biomedicas #brucellosis #chikungunya #chickenpox #flu #hepb #hepatitise #bhfyp #hepatitis #hendravirus #hantavirus #groupbstrep #grippe #giardia #endmalaria #biomedicinaporamor #ebolawatch #ebolavirus #ebolaresearch #ebolaoutbreak #eboladrc #dengue #demodex #congestionnasal #colds #cholera #biomedicos #novovirus #carnaval #asvcp #cytology #microscopy #veterinarymedicine #vetmed #pathology #veterinaryclinicalpathology #clinicalpathology #clinpath

California New Smoke Regulation Kills

Wildfire_Calif_Orange_AnaheimHills_Homes_1200

SMOKE ADVISORY

NEW “EMPLOYER” SMOKE REGULATIONS

MANDATED
EMPLOYERS to PAY
SMOKE a Weapon of DEATH 
FIRE “Microwave” Warfare

Directed Energy Weapons

Deployed on the People

SMOKE ADVISORY

NEW “EMPLOYER” SMOKE REGULATIONS

MANDATED
EMPLOYERS to PAY
SMOKE a Weapon of DEATH 
FIRE “Microwave” Warfare

Directed Energy Weapons

Deployed on the People

NEW SMOKE REGULATIONS – EMPLOYERS to PAY 

Smoke Particulates Suspended in the Air Can Cause

Early Death

camp_fire

Some Health Effects of Microwave FIRES by Design

Lung Irritation, Persistent Coughing, Phlegm, Wheezing,  Reduced Lung Function, Bronchitis, Asthma Attacks,,

Heart Failure, Early Death and MORE.

People over 65 and people who already have heart and

lung problems are the  MOST likely to suffer from SERIOUS effects And…

…Large populations will be exposed to smoke during a microwave fire attack. Certain life stages and populations are at greater risk of experiencing health effects, including people with respiratory or cardiovascular diseases, children and older adults, pregnant women, people of lower socioeconomic status, and outdoor workers.

Chemical Dump Over Wyoming, December 2019

Remember,

the American Bar Association

has signed onto 

enforcing all consequences of

climate change 

“the new fake normal” 

The BAR (Rothschild CONtrolled) is in the

process of creating rules, regulations, fines, penalties and more.  

Weather Weapon Deniers

Solid smoke particles and liquid droplets suspended in air, known as particulate matter, with an aerodynamic diameter of 2.5 micrometers or smaller- can kill you. 


Never forget, smoke and particles kill:

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New World Order Air: Barium, Aluminum & Strontium

A Commentary On The Collapse Of Our Oxygen System By Mitch Santell

chemdees2_dees
Find It Hard To Breath?

One of my favorite channels is run by Mike Morales, who has a real passion for checking what is happening to our weather. 

Mike Morales YouTube Graphic

Here is the link to Mike Morales: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxHTJnQ8yqA3rjDwLemtAKA/about

Check out this short video:

Here is a transcript of what you are watching which is a total of 3:33 In Length:

“Hello, my name is El de Chico, I live in Golden Valley. And I understand that this is a federal issue. I understand that from speaking to the governor’s office, that they cannot or will not even make a statement about this. My question is, have you tested the rainwater? And if you haven’t, have you seen the results of our rainwater tests? And also, are you aware that many of the people sitting in this room right here have very high levels of barium, aluminum, and strontium, in their blood, people are getting sick and dying? And we want the ad aq, not just to give us a little speech today, but actually to maybe perhaps, speak out against it if you know what’s going on? And if not, I would suggest you do a lot more investigation. We’ve been doing it for years. So I’d like to comment on One, the rainwater, what’s in it, and Two, what’s in our blood, and if it’s not coming from geoengineering is your responsibility to investigate and tell us where it is coming from?”

Next:

“Thank you. Just get on to another question on the interview with the Los Angeles Times on April 21. You said that the you told The Associated Press that the American government has created weather tampering techniques so that the New World Order will be able to start millions of Americans and to control the rest.”

“Would you explain what you were trying to say?”

Response: 

“Well, it what I was trying to say is exactly what I said. There is weather control techniques. We have a complete package on that which I did not bring that I certainly will see to it, that it is brought in for the record. Number one the entire patents on the equipment. Number two senator Claiborne Pells, complete statement and story of his own, that not only does it exist, but they will even utilize it as far back as a Vietnam War.”

And then…

“You’re saying the government is created, whether tampering techniques so that the, quote, New World Order will be able to serve millions of Americans or like millions of Americans and to control the rest?”

Final Answer:

“Yes, sir. And that’s my belief. As bizarre as that sounds. When if somebody had told me that that equipment even existed 10 years ago, I would have thought they were nuts sir. And at this point in time, we have all the documents to prove it. And if you think that 85 tornadoes takes place in the middle of our growing area, by simultaneous accident, I’m sorry, with the equipment that’s already set up internationally. And as bizarre as that is, it is proven and documented, we will supply you with those documents. As bizarre as that is, I would say that whether wars and this is quoting actually senator Claiborne Pell himself, that they are the greatest weapon ever created in the world and that’s the senators’ own statement. So yes, I do stand on that.”

 

If you want to watch the video that Mike Morales made tonight

(12/23/2019), here is the video:

Mercury In Retrograde

A Commentary On Staying In Action When Communications Fail by Mitch Santell

Positive Vibes

Three times each year Mecury Goes Into Retrograde which sincerely affects communications. Not only does it affect communications, but you may also experience a break down of appliances, recording gear, emails, and software you are wanting to install.

For me, Mercury In Retrograde is my favorite time of the year. Each time it hits I have a big grin on my face. Most people will give you all of their sob stories of how things messed up for them but not for me.

You see there is a deep secret related to Mercury In Retrograde that most people don’t know and I’ll share the secret ready?

Positive Vibes 2019

Here goes: If you have a relationship, a project, a contract or anything else that started prior to Mercury In Retrograde it will work perfectly. Most times you will notice that things seem almost easier for you because everyone else is complaining.

You have had a transition year, haven’t you? Oh my gosh, we all have. Life is not a dress rehearsal for me and I live it full out with as much passion and compassion as possible.

This year more than at any other time I am having to say goodbye to so many relationships while the ones that remain are stronger, more dedicated and somehow more in sync. 

beach positive

Here are some simple things you can do if things are not going your way during this time:

1). Do a favor each day for someone you love. 

Inspirational-Love Present

2). This is a wonderful time to go through old photographs, old folders, and contracts and dump those things that don’t work anymore. A real sign of mental illness are people who can’t get rid of old possessions that you don’t need! ( The rule that my wife of 33 1/2 years and I have is that if we haven’t used an item in a full year we dump it).

always good vibes

3). This is a great time to plan for projects and schedules that you need to accomplish after the stalling of communications is over. Have fun, be creative and don’t overthink anything.

Peaceful Beach

4). This is a great time to do some soul searching and careful reflection of how you are handling the frequencies as they increase. Now you may ask yourself “What the heck it Mitch talking about?” Answer: Every 24 hours Planet Earth is moving into unchartered space. This shift is causing a lot of people to lose it. Can I prove this? Oh yeah, I can because of the bombardment of high technology is all around us. If you are worried about your eyeballs exploding after all of the 5G cell phone towers go up all over California, you may be onto something so I might recommend a good dose of THC. (That is a subject for another posting).

dark side hippy

5). Let go of the need to be right and simply ride the wave of change without freaking out. If you can simply do this and the other four items I listed in this post you will be just fine. At that point, you feel like a human being and not a human doing.

aaa yes

 

 

Fourteen Years In An Institution

Anne McDonald 1977

I’m on the right, next to my best friend Leonie. In this picture I’m sixteen, she’s fifteen.  We’re sitting in a twin baby buggy. As one does.

By Anne McDonald

I lived in St Nicholas Hospital until I turned eighteen. Until I was sixteen I was totally unable to communicate with any adult because I am a severely handicapped athetoid. Athetosis is a type of cerebral palsy which results in a lot of uncontrolled movement; as well, in my case, there was an enormous excess of muscle tension. The combination of these difficulties meant that I could not use my hands, walk, or talk intelligibly.

In 1977 I was taught to communicate by using an alphabet board on which I point to letters in order to spell sentences. That is how I wrote my part of Annie’s Coming Out.

The worst thing for me about going into an institution was the total separation from everything I had known. St Nicholas would not allow parents to leave toys or clothes when they left a child. My rabbit, which I loved dearly, could not come, and neither could the animals we had as pets. The ruthless way in which children were parted from their toys was typical of the system’s treatment of children. We upset all their rather puritanical ideas about how children should behave. We were not good patients. We cried because we felt abandoned. The nurses didn’t know what to do; they didn’t know we could feel anguish. The institution had no tally book for broken hearts.

Nurses were discouraged from cuddling children. A crying child needed to be punished for its own good, so it would learn to accept the absence of affection and be happy. Punishment consisted of locking the crying child in a small dark store room. The hospital defined a happy child as a quiet child. Silence was not only golden but sullen; the nurses never saw the looks we gave them when a child was put away.

The doctors were no better. They went home at night, when the crying was worst. Remembering home was easier when you were in your cot with no toys, no games, no stories and no tucking in. We didn’t want to be kissed goodnight – that would have been unbearably distressing – but it would have been nice if someone had shown some sign that they would be glad to see us in the morning.

Talking about shit filled an enormous part of the nurses’ days. They spoke only a limited form of English, so the words they used were usually those used as abuse in polite society. You used to hold off shitting until you just about burst rather than suffer the abuse. We could not take ourselves to the toilets even if there had been toilets, so we were all in nappies. If you did not use your bowels you would have a suppository rammed in. This was recognized by the authorities, who had provided a tome in which all movements were recorded for posterity. It was called the Bowel Book. This caused no end of problems, because failure to score resulted automatically in laxatives. One day missed meant Duralax tablets; two, suppositories; three, an enema. You had no say at all.

Some nurses never marked the book, so totally unnecessary suppositories were frequently given. If you had a shit after being given a suppository you still had to listen to remarks about your odour and messiness. Instead of giving laxatives at night when they would cause the least embarrassment, they were always given at breakfast or lunch, ensuring a totally ruined morning or afternoon. This would not have mattered once in a while, but some of us were being dosed every second day.

Still, we thought we would be going home. Perhaps we were going to be cured. Little did we know! St Nicholas only has ‘hospital’ in its title because it occupies the old Children’s Hospital buildings. Of course, these were available for us only because they had been condemned as unsafe and inappropriate for children. Less medical care was given than we had at home. Laughter was the only medicine apart from laxatives and anticonvulsants, and humour was discouraged because laughter was confused with epilepsy and treated by injecting Valium or paraldehyde.

The nurses had never seen physically handicapped people before and had no idea which responses we shared with normal kids and which were significant indications of distress requiring intervention. Jittery nurses often thought we were frail and used to keep us in bed until the temperature had hit eighty. This resulted in even those children who had no physical handicap becoming wasted and pale. For the spastics, lying flat was disastrous. Their spasm became worse lying flat than sitting, reduced their ability to speak clearly, blocked gesturing, and usually removed any means of interaction. We were each marooned in our private cage. Vitality ebbed. We became prey to infections, which proved to the nurses that they were right to keep us in bed. The ultimate irony was that outsiders used to commend the nurses for treating us so well.

Despite this I was very attached to some of the nurses from the beginning. I think that some did marvelous work to cope with the numbers of kids in their groups and still be affectionate to us. They treated us like babies, but some treated us like nice babies. I was very fond of the night nurse on Ward 4. She was never flustered and was always even-handed in the way she dealt with us. You always got good treatment regardless of whether you responded or not.

We took some time to realize that we were not being treated. You expect a hospital to discharge patients other than in coffins. Some kids did come for temporary stays; funnily enough they frequently died. Usually children who visited knew when they were leaving. This meant that they did not become part of the ward and they took a superior attitude to us long-term residents. (As usual, I am talking about those who could communicate – most could not.) We tried not to hate them. It was difficult. Not only were they going home but they also got more than their fair share of attention. The nurses used to make a fuss of them and compare us unfavorably to them. The nurses felt no responsibility if we were skinny, sickly and sullen.

We had ways of communicating between ourselves. Usually we tried to cheer up any short-stay kids by pointing out how much better their state was than ours. We felt that nowhere could be as dreadful as St Nicholas; however, it seemed that the outside had its problems too. Most short-stay kids we saw were very physically handicapped. Those who spoke were generally unhappy because no one understood them, and they had no one to talk to. At least we had each other. Sometimes kids wanted to help us, but telling others was impossible for them too.

Dying was dependent on the way you felt. Jobs in mental hospitals do not attract the best doctors, and there was no supervision. The patients could not complain. If you wanted to die you had every opportunity. Many short-stay kids took their chance. Death never appealed to me; I wanted revenge. Now that does not seem to matter. What is important is stopping other kids going through what we went through.

Deceiving yourself was the hospital pastime. You imagined you talked perfectly and that you would be taken out for ever. You imagined waking up cured. You never took your condition seriously; it was never as important to you as it was to others. We had never walked; it did not look like we ever would. It was something we had grown up knowing. For busting out of confinement, speech seemed more desirable. We knew there were kids in St Nicholas who could walk, but none who could talk properly. All our imaginings depended for their fulfillment on speech.

Time was when the strongest emotion I felt was hate, and hate makes you strong. Tender emotions were dangerously softening. Implacable hatred of the whole world which hunted handicapped children into middens like St Nicholas twisted my relationships with people for years.

More here: http://bit.ly/2Ni3bD0



It felt appropriate to show and share that regardless of how tragic your own life is that others have it much worse. ~ Mitch Santell (editor’s note – mine).

Parting shot: There will be no global awakening. This site will be closed in a number of days and after that all indications that this site was ever here will be gone. I wish you all the best of luck as the world you live in has been taken over by pure evil. It is only through faith and discernment that you will survive what is coming. ~ MJS


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