A Commentary by a Spiritual Being in a Physical Body Bag by Mitch Santell
The only way that you will survive what is about to happen in America is to be aware, awake, and to use some common sense.
Listen to your own self-talk. Can you get out of your own way? Can you look at your own patterns of how you cope and observe without judgment?
The reason I ask these things is that over the past week, or so I have been receiving phone calls or emails or texts mainly from women friends who seem to be losing it.
Most of my male friends seem to be coping with an everchanging world, but it is you women folk, that I am sincerely and seriously worried about.
As you read this, you might ask yourself, “How Do I Let Go Of Being A Victim?”
Answer…wait for it:
“Stop Needing To Be Right!”
In America, we use “being right” like a drug, which means I make YOU WRONG. There is no right or wrong; there is only how you see the world. Right now a part of you feels ungrounded right?
This is something that I found at one of my favorite sites titled: https://zenhabits.net/*
The insights below come from Zen Habits in case you want to know where I got this.
*Side note: This site is terrific. It is free. You can hire the guy who writes it as an Executive Coach. That is your choice. Why do I love this site so much? The owner releases the copyright so that I can share his insights on my blog: https://zenhabits.net/uncopyright/
Six Habits that Lead to Groundedness
The basic habits that lead to this kind of resiliency, and a feeling of groundedness are things you can practice every single day:
- Let ourselves feel it. When we’re feeling uncertainty, instead of rushing to solve it … or too distracting ourselves or comforting ourselves with food or shopping … we can let ourselves feel the uncertainty. I’m not talking about engaging in a narrative about what the uncertainty is like and why it’s so bad — but instead feeling it physically in your body. Where is the feeling located in your body? Can you give it some attention and curiosity? Can you stay with it for a few moments? This habit of letting ourselves feel the uncertainty and stress is transformative — every bit of anxiety becomes a place to practice, an opportunity to be present with ourselves. It becomes a chance to create a new relationship with our experience.
- Learn that it’s OK to feel groundlessness. You are feeling anxiety because of the uncertainty of your situation. But that’s because uncertainty becomes a reason to freak out. What if, instead, we learned that this groundless, uncertain feeling is actually just fine? It might not be completely pleasant, but it’s nothing to panic about. In fact, it can be an opportunity to find joy and appreciation in the groundlessness — what is there to appreciate in this feeling of complete openness? Start to shift how you see and react to this groundlessness, embracing it rather than panicking about it.
- Give ourselves love. In the middle of stress and uncertainty, instead of engaging in our old habits of shutting down or avoiding, of worrying and fretting … can we try a new habit of giving ourselves, love? This is a way of being compassionate and friendly with ourselves, no matter what we’re doing. It’s like giving love to a child who is in pain — the compassion and love pour out of our hearts. Can we practice this for ourselves?
- Simplify by being fully present with one thing. We have so much going on that it can all be overwhelming. Can you simplify by focusing on just one thing right now? Trust that you’ll take care of the other things when it’s needed. Instead, be fully present with this single task. It can be something important, like working on that writing that you’ve been putting off for days. Or it can be something small, like washing this one dish or drinking this one cup of tea. Be fully with it, and savor the experience fully. This leads to a feeling of groundedness and helps us to not feel as frazzled.
- Find the joy in being fully present and savoring. The item above, of simplifying by doing one thing, can feel like quite a shift for many of us. It might feel like a sacrifice, not constantly switching tasks and being on social media and checking phones. But it can be a way of opening up to the moment, treating yourself with a little focus, joyfully savoring whatever you’ve chosen to do with this moment of your life.
- Learn to love being resilient. Resilience is a matter of saying “No Big Deal” to any kind of uncertainty that arises, of savoring and being present, of giving ourselves love and being present with whatever uncertainty is coming up for us. Resilience is not blowing everything up to End of the World level, just because it’s not under control. Resilience is feeling grounded in the middle of chaos (even if there’s stress present), and finding joy in being in that uncertainty. Resilience is taking a breath and then savoring that breath. It can be a beautiful thing if you learn to love it.
Try these habits today whenever you notice stress, anxiety, uncertainty. They take practice, but with time, they lead to a feeling of being centered and grounded.