Commentary by Mitch Santell
The false narrative of romance on social media is a joke to me. That’s right, it is an absolute fake narrative.
Over the past few years, I have connected with couples who initially met on FaceBook or Twitter or Instagram.
What are the chances that these relationships will work out? Minimal chance based on what I have observed.
If you have met someone this way be careful that the person is simply not presenting or pitching a lifestyle that is not their own.
Social media is what I’d call a romance contraceptive. It prevents romance from happening every single day.
Every day when I’m out and about, I’ll see people in elevators, I’ll see people in grocery stores, coffee shops, and at restaurants. And they’re all checking Facebook! Or they’re tweeting something to their 3.7 followers. We’ve become a society of people who are obsessed with what’s happening in the imaginary world.
Facebook is an imaginary world.
Checking in on what your friends are doing at noon when you can be flirting with a handsome stranger or the cute girl next to you in line at Starbucks is a complete social block.
Just the other day, I was in a supermarket in Los Angeles and I saw this guy checking out this girl. He was standing next to her in line at the juice bar. He kept looking at her, and she kept looking down … at the Facebook app on her iPhone.
Now, I know some of you right now are thinking, maybe she wasn’t interested. That wasn’t the issue. Because what I’m about to share with you is something most of you have probably done.
He gave up and disappeared. But I was crazy curious so I stood next to her in line and got real close and peeked at what she was typing into her phone.
Her status update: When am I going to meet a nice guy? It seems like all the good men are taken.
Think about what just happened.
She complained about not finding good men, but here was an interested man, standing next to her. Now, granted, nobody knows if the romance would have worked, but think about this: for every moment that you’re checking your Twitter feed, or your so-called friends’ updates on Facebook, you’re missing another opportunity to connect with somebody in real life … which could be another opportunity to fall in love.
Wake up, and walk away from the social media every once in a while. Drop the smartphone. It’s not making you smart; it’s actually making you pretty dumb. Save the social media checking for when you’re home. When you’re out and about, drop it, and be uncomfortable again. Sit in a restaurant, and look around, but don’t read Facebook: be present, and smile at the people that are around you. We don’t need to be constantly doing things on our phones.
So, my advice to all of you who would like to find romance this holiday season: Leave the phone at home. Sit with the discomfort of being without your contraceptive coping aid — the smartphone — and start looking at all the available people that have been there the whole time wanting to meet you. Then, maybe you will return home and type a status update like this:
You wouldn’t believe what happened today in Starbucks, I met the most amazing person; I can’t wait to see him tonight.
More here: https://nyti.ms/2VF8O47
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